The question: Which parent does Eli more closely resemble?

To judge this noodle-scratcher in a fair and equitable manner, I will present side-by-side pictures of Eli (who will always be on the left) and baby pictures of myself and Courtney (on the right). Then it is up to you, the blog visitor, to submit your vote in the comments.

Everybody clear? Great. Let’s get started.

Eli and Baby Courtney:

Eli and Baby Alan:

What do you think?  Is Eli a mirror of Mommy?  Or a dead ringer for Daddy?  Remember, every vote counts, and the polling is officially open!

The Noah family has returned from California.  It was a fun, if not terribly relaxing, trip.  Eli got some quality time in with G-ma and G-pa, he got to meet some friends, and he got to see the Pacific Ocean in person, as evidenced by the above adorable picture.  It would have been nicer if it was a little warmer (temperature s in the 60’s and 70’s in LA in August?  WTF?), but hey, at least it wasn’t 400% humidity.  And as a capper to the trip, Court and I got to go to a beautiful wedding in a SoCal winery that really looked like something out of a movie.

As for the plane rides – Eli was fine.  Not much sleeping on the flights, but not much screaming or crying either.  Before we left, I read this article on flying with babies that suggested you bring goody bags for the passengers around you.  I thought then and think now that is preposterous.  Why should I have to buy off other people because I’m traveling with my kid?  Hey, the guy in the seat next to me on our flight home who kept falling asleep on me didn’t give me a goody bag for my inconvenience.

All in all, it was a great trip, and it is great to know that we can keep on traveling as a family.*

*Sherlock did not fly cross country with us – he spent the weekend with his Grandma and Aunt Georgia, and he told me he had a wonderful time with them, so it all works out.

So far, in his less than 7 months outside of the womb, Eli has been in cars, trains, and a ferry.  Tomorrow he will add an airplane to that list of forms of transportation he has been in.  All that will remain is a spaceship, which I imagine he will use to get to his spring break  in 2030.  But that’s neither here nor there.  The scary thing is seeing how Eli will do on his first and second transcontinental flights.

I’m optimistic, for several reasons:

1. Eli is a generally happy baby.
2. Eli managed to get through an entire Mets game and fireworks show without a major incident.
3. Both flights are early in the morning, when Eli is typically asleep or awake and smiley.

Still, I can’t help but imagining any of several nightmare scenarios.  What if he won’t stop crying? What if he won’t stop pooping?  What if he screams in this lady’s ear?  (Seriously, read that story, it is all kinds of kooky.)

More likely is that Eli will get an awful lot of dirty looks when people realize he is on their flight.  Personally, I have been more annoyed by adults than I have ever been by small children in my years of flying, but I am still not blind to the fact that people dread being on a long flight with a screaming baby.  It will be weird for me to have someone give Eli a stink eye; up to now there have been only 2 reactions to a stranger seeing the little guy: pure delight or complete indifference.  (MUCH more common is the former.)  His sheer existence has never caused anyone dread, and I realize that may change in the JetBlue terminal tomorrow.  But I figure if anyone frowns or glares at my son, Eli will just flash them his beautiful smile and win them over.

Wish us luck!

Eli’s first Mets game was a success! He really seemed to enjoy it – for a good chunk of the game, he was staring off, seemingly staring intently on the action on the field. Or, more specifically, at the action on the giant screen. Eli, like his father, seems to have a fascination with watching TV, and he seemed to be mesmerized. But the important thing was he was happy! He took a little nap here and there, and while he was disappointed that the Mets lost, he enjoyed a fun night out. And not only that, but they even put his name up on the scoreboard – check it out:

Now granted, it was supposed to say that the Mets welcome “Eli, Nate, and Aaron to their 1st Mets Game,” and so the end was cut off, and they were lumped in with some other people, but the fact remains that Eli’s name was up in lights at his very first game! I mean, I’ve been going to Mets games for years, and they never did that for me!

I was curious how they were going to shoot off the fireworks, seeing as how there was no open space outside the stadium like at Shea. The solution? They shot off the fireworks *from* the stadium itself, and it was a pretty cool effect. Sure, we got some hot ash raining down on us, but Eli didn’t seem to be to terribly freaked out by the noise, and he was able to just stare up and see what was going on. Observe:

In the end, it was a very hot night, and we seriously messed with Eli’s routine, but I think a good time was had by all – all 29 adults and 2 babies of us. Thanks everyone for coming out and making it such a memorable night!

This past weekend was my very first Father’s Day as a Dad. In the end, it’s another day for me to get presents, so that’s always a good thing, right? I don’t wax too poetic on the “meaning” of the day – we should all appreciate our parents year-round, after all, but I do want to thank everyone in my family, especially Courtney and Eli, for making this weekend extra special. We had some great family time at a picnic in a local park, we saw the family at Aunt Georgia’s, and I got Smokin’ Al’s BBQ and Herrell’s ice cream! (Smokin’ Al’s, while maybe not as good as Dinosaur, is the best damn BBQ I’ve found on Long Island, and I heartily recommend it!)

And of course I got some pretty amazing gifts, including a beer holster, a sign for my man-cave, a light for the grill (so I can make burgers after the sun has set!), the Star Wars shaped pancake makers (although they didn’t come out that great – maybe I was RIGHT about Williams-Sonoma all along! Call back!), and some adorable gifts from Eli involving his tiny footprints.  Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better or more memorable day.  Thanks, everyone!

I know, my voice gets really high when I’m talking to Eli, I can’t help it…

*Reports of other videos with other people making Eli laugh have been greatly exaggerated.

I remember when I was a kid, and my elders would always say things like, “Back when I was your age, we didn’t have no fancy video games!”  I remembered how I rolled my eyes, and thought, I’m never going to say stuff like that to MY kids.

I was wrong.  I hereby present ten things that Eli will never do.

1. Eli will never have to call a girl to ask her out and worry about someone in her family answering.  Everyone has a cell phone now, and by the time Eli is dating, he will probably be able to ask girls out via the chips that will be embedded in our brains.
2. And speaking of cell phones, Eli will probably never use a pay phone.
3. Eli will likely never set foot in a video store.  No, for him, watching movies will be a digital transaction, and not require figuring out what constitutes as a “New Release,” or worrying about late fees.
4. Eli will never have to spend a great amount of time and hassle worrying about how to get somewhere.  Heck, he may never even get lost at all.  GPS makes Google maps and Mapquest (remember them?) obsolete, and its even crazier to think about what people did before those sites.  Did they have to call places and ask them for directions?  The horror!
5. Eli will never have a complete encyclopedia in his house.  Thanks, Wikipedia!
6. And speaking of things that used to be in books, photo albums will seem archaic to Eli.
7. And it wouldn’t surprise me if checkbooks become obsolete, too, which means that Eli may never have to write a check.  At the very least, he won’t have to write as many as his grandparents did.
8. Eli will not need a TI-82 calculator in calculus – I’m sure there will be some sort of App for that.
9. When searching for a TV show to watch, Eli will never turn to a small magazine known as TV Guide.
10. This isn’t at all related to future technologies, but Eli will never, if he knows what’s good for him, root for the Yankees, Phillies, or the Braves.

Notice the pocket on Eli’s left leg.

Exhibit B:

There are two pockets clearly visible, but trust me, there are more.

Exhibit C:

There is not one, but THREE pockets in Eli’s overalls.

And do you know what’s in these pockets?

NOTHING.

You know why there’s nothing in Eli’s pockets?

BECAUSE HE’S A BABY.

What kinds of things do you keep in your pockets?  Cell phone.  Wallet.  Keys.  Eli has none of those things.  Neither do most of his contemporaries.

So why on Earth do clothes designed for such young babies come with multiple pockets???

Of course, I ask this question rhetorically.  I know full damn well why baby clothes come with pockets.  It’s the same reason that baby clothes come with buttons and buckles that don’t work, and why they make shoes for kids far too young to walk.

Because they’re “adorable.”

The cute designs are one thing, those I get.  True, Eli doesn’t know who Batman is, but that Exhibit B outfit sure is awesome.  The design is practical in the sense that I, as his parent, like it.

But pockets so small they couldn’t hold a pacifier?  Or faux flies that don’t open for kids in diapers?  Come on.  I just picture someone in a sweatshop stitching together all of these things and wondering what the hell someone so tiny can possibly do with them.

Eh, I talk big, but I’m clearly not helping matters, as I keep on dressing Eli in these clothes, full of extra accessories that he cannot possibly utilize.

But what the hell.

They are pretty adorable.

Happy Passover, everyone! Now is the time you think to yourself, “Man, I love Matzah – I could eat this stuff all year! Why don’t I, actually?” And, of course, in two or three days, you’re incredibly sick of it and would kill just for a slice of pizza. Or maybe that’s just me.

I’m just excited for Eli’s first Passover – he may not be able to ask the Four Questions by himself just yet, but I bet he finds the Afikomen!

And now for something completely different: A robot seder.

Try as I might to get him to smile when I got home that night, he just wouldn’t do it. Ditto yesterday.

But this morning, Eli smiled at me. At first it was a “Was that a yawn or a smile” kind of expression, but then, a moment later, there it was. A real smile.

My son smiled at me.

I’m really trying to put into words what it was like, but it really was pretty indescribable. At that moment, it felt like Eli knew me. Like he recognized me. Like he was happy to see me. Like he was just happy to be alive. Before now, he’s been calm, sleepy, hungry, fussy, curious, frustrated, enthralled. If he had been happy before, he wasn’t showing it.

But now he can.

I know that there will be lots of days like this, Eli hitting important milestones, and of course millions more smiles. But I also know that I’ll always remember this day, and this milestone.

This smile.