Verizon, after already getting rid of their “New Every Two” program, and then instituting a $30 upgrade fee, is now apparently going to scrap their unlimited data plans, forcing customers to use their “tiered” data plans – even those of us who were grandfathered into keeping their unlimited plans.

In other words, Verizon is going to charge more money to people who use a lot of data on their smart phones. It makes sense in theory; you use more, you pay more. But the lowest tier is for 2GB/month. You want to watch a few movies on Netflix, you’re over that, and moving onto the next pricier level.

So yeah, I *could* get a fancy new phone, capable of superfast downloads, and a beautiful screen, optimized for all of the latest and greatest content on the interwebs… but then be so worried about how much data I’m using that I don’t take advantage of it.

Honestly, this may very well be Verizon’s third strike for me. I’ve been a loyal customer of theirs since I first got a cell phone over a decade ago, and I never had any issues with the company until recently.  But now, for the first time, I’m actually considering ditching the carrier.

My likely destination would be Sprint – the only major carrier with unlimited data plans – and no plans to take them away.

My reservation there is that I’ve heard people complain about Sprint’s service.  But I kind of feel that, living and working in the metro New York area, I should be covered.  Right?  Does anyone out there have any experience with Sprint, good, bad, or otherwise?

My two options are, at this point, either:

a) Stick with Verizon, and sign a new contract before they institute the tiered plans.  I’m not sure, but in theory, if I sign a new 2 year contract before this plan takes effect, I would be able to at least postpone the inevitable.  The drawback would be that I lose out on the next iPhone, but I could make do with one of those shiny new Droids, I suppose.

b) Keep my current phone/plan, and then, when the next iPhone comes out, jump ship to Sprint.  Or, stick with Verizon, and grumble incessantly as I watch use my smartphone’s data usage.  At least with this option, I already have an awful lot of experience grumbling about Verizon.

To fight back against spam, I currently use WordPress’s highest level of spam regulation, where only people who have posted a comment before can post again.  The system doesn’t allow any spam in, but the problem with it is that it can keep legitimate comments out, say if you’re using a new IP address.  So to make sure no proper comments are lumped in with the trash, I spend a minute or two each day scanning through the spam, making sure they’re all really junk.

Most of the time it is painfully obvious that the spam is in fact spam; they’re long strings of nonsense, or Russian, or junk link after junk link.  But lately I’ve noticed a new breed of spam comment.  No longer are they all full of easy to spot dribble.  Some of these “comments” actually, at first glance, have text that is not only surprisingly coherent, but even somewhat related to the topic of the original post.  Take a look at this comment that was left for my Happy Birthday, Mario post:

It depends what type of eeierpxnce you’re looking for.New Super Mario Bros. Wii caters to having up to four people playing around trying to go through 77 levels in 2D. Having friends or family playing with you makes this game a blast. It’s around ten hours to get through, pending you play every level. If you go solo, it’s still a good game, but it’s the multiplayer that makes this one shine.Super Mario Galaxy 2 takes what made the first Galaxy great and adds to it. It has 2D and 3D levels and offers both challenges that require skill and speed. You will constantly be asked to do new things throughout the majority of the adventure such as speed running a level, avoiding a ton of enemies that are following the same path, or what have you.Basically, NSMB Wii is the best 2D platformer this generation, and Galaxy 2 is the best 3D platformer of this generation. Take your pick. You’re probably going to like both.

My post was in fact about Super Mario, and so was this comment.  Of course, my post was about Mario’s 25th “birthday,” while the comment was a review of his latest two Wii games.  And with the exception of the spelling of “experience” at the beginning, it looks like something a real video-game loving, English speaking, human being would write.  On purpose.  As a comment.  On a blog.

What a concept!

And look at this one, written as a response to an old post about Ghostbusters 3:

I agree. Adding straight man Winston can only help. Just paelyd the Ghostbusters and and was glad to hear/see him included (and Annie Potts’ surly Janine, too!) Ernie Hudson always brings it, I been a fan since I saw him guest starring on ABC-TV’s Bosom Buddies (look it up, kiddies.)Oddly, while the great (and my SCTV fave) Rick Moranis did NOT participate in the Ghostbusters game, I didn’t miss Louis Tully at all. Go figure. Reply

Again, one weird typo (“played” isn’t that tough of a word to spell) and the subject matter is slightly off, but the comment by and large makes logical sense.  Ernie Hudson actually was on Bosom Buddies!  (I did look it up, as suggested.)

Of course, these comment, and many others like it, are spam.  The typos and slightly off-topic nature of the comments is a hint, but the email address and website links are the giveaways.

Still, I gotta hand it to whoever is coming up with these new spam comments.  I mean, I obviously hate them, because they are even more of a pain to identify, and I fail to see what exactly they hope to accomplish with their insights on video-games and Ernie Hudson’s career.  Could these new slightly smarter spam comments be the work of bored hackers living in their parents basements, trying to make a few bucks to support their Domino’s pizza addictions?

Or are they the next phase in the inevitable rise of computers, where they will soon become sentient and rise up against their human overlords??

You read it here first, folks.  The machines grow smarter everyday.

• Anyone have any suggestions on good TV shows to watch on Netflix streaming?  I’m nearing the end of Archer episodes, and I find that watching something entertaining is a good motivator.  I was considering rewatching Arrested Development as a refresher before the new episodes begin, or trying to get into Parks and Recreation.  Then there’s Battlestar Galactica – if I get sucked into that show, that should keep me running all of my fat away!
• I know I’m supposed to eat protein after I run, but are there any protein bars (or other type of food I can eat on the train) that don’t taste like glue?
• I’m slowly getting used to getting up earlier… except when I’m not.  Are there any “tricks” to get used to sleeping less?  Is that something that just comes with age?  Should I just resign myself to the fact that no matter what, there will just never be enough hours in the day?

Mommy, thank you for always being there for me.  You take the time to make me yummy food, and I even when I don’t feel like eating it, I still appreciate it.  And I really love cooking with you, too!

Thank you for always dressing me in such super-stylish clothes.  I always get complimented on my snazzy outfits, and I’m just glad Daddy isn’t in charge of my wardrobe.

Thank you for taking care of me when I’m sick, for rocking me to sleep, and letting me tug on your hair when I need something to comfort me.  I know it hurts – I’ll try to stop doing it so much, promise!

And thank you for always reading to me, playing with me, singing to me, and doing all of the things you do to take care of me!  I love you so much!  Happy Mother’s Day!

Then Sherlock asked me to write something as well:

Mom, thank you for taking such good care of me, too!  You feed me, play with me, take me to the vet, and give me lots and lots of treats!

And you know why I love to sleep on your feet at night?  It’s because I love you so much that I want to snuggle with you as much as I can!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Courtney, you do so much for all of us – where would ACES be without you?  We’d just be AES – and that doesn’t make any sense… or sound anywhere near as cool!  You’re amazing, and we all love and appreciate all that you do and all that you are.  Happy Mother’s Day!

Though I’m thrilled that Obama has (finally) come out in support of same-sex marriage, I am at the same time disappointed that it now seems this issue will be a hot-button topic of the upcoming election season.

What is wrong with this country that this is an issue at all? I know I’ve said this before, but why are so many people – both politicians and their constituents – so concerned about the private lives of others? For a country founded on the principles of equality and tolerance, we really don’t have the greatest track record on those fronts. But now, in the 21st Century, shouldn’t we all be enlightened enough to end the bigotry and hatred?

And wanting to ban same-sex marriages is exactly that: bigotry, intolerance, and hatred. There is not enough saccharin in the world to sugar-coat that simple fact away.

I personally hate the fact that every election cycle, the issue of abortion comes up yet again. Roe v. Wade was nearly forty years ago. Roe won. If you don’t like it… well, deal with it. But, playing devil’s advocate, I can kind of see where these zealots are coming from. If they truly equate abortion with murder, I can see why they would be unwilling to give up that fight. Again, I’m not saying I agree with their point of view, but I can understand why it is a battle they keep coming back to.

But gay marriage is totally different. Why on earth would anyone feel that marriage *needs* to be defined as something between a man and a woman? Who does that help? No one. Who does it hurt? Millions of people who just want to have the same rights as their fellow citizens.

So this should be a pretty open-and-shut thing, right? Nope. We’ll be hearing about this straight through November 6th, and beyond. Which is not only ridiculous for all of the previously stated reasons, but because there are many more things that are a bit more pressing to this country right now.

Like the fact that we are still in the greatest economic slump this country has seen since the Great Depression. The unemployment rate in this country is still incredibly high.  And our barely regulated banks continue to lose unimaginable sums of money.

And a year after Bin Laden’s death, the war on terror continues. The recent underwear bomb plot should make that point abundantly clear.

And there’s our rapidly falling-behind education system. A health-care system that cares more about profits than healing people. A continuing reliance on foreign oil. An unsustainable future for our environment.

THESE are the issues that our political candidates should be debating. Yes, these topics are definitely in the political discourse, and they will continue to be. But it seems likely that they will be discussed alongside the unbelievably inane question of, “Should we continue to treat a large percentage of people in our country as second-class citizens?” And that is a terrible shame.

Their new album, “That’s Why God Made the Radio,” is due on June 5th, and the lead single – of the same name – is out now. Check out their amazing new song:

I’m biased as a big fan, but I love it. It’s a classic Beach Boys song, with whimsy, harmonies, and lyrics about cars and falling in love. What better way to kick off the summer than with these kinds of tunes!

I can’t wait to pick up the new album in a few weeks, and then, a few weeks after that, see the Boys in concert at Jones Beach!

For the past few years, Courtney has been saying that we should go through our junk and have a yard sale.  I always assumed that she was bluffing, but some kind of “spring cleaning” bug has gotten ahold of her, and it seems as though she’s really serious.  This yard sale is going to happen in a couple of weeks, and a lot of my “junk” is going to be sold.

As we were going through potential things we could sell, Courtney accused me of being a hoarder.  At first I was offended, but after some careful evaluation, she may have something of a point.

I mean, the house isn’t filled floor-to-ceiling with used kitty litter boxes or anything, so I don’t think we need a major intervention.  But it is true that I am reluctant to part with a lot of my prized possessions.

My old video game systems aren’t going anywhere.  Sure, I don’t play E.T. on my Atari 2600 regularly, but on those special occasions when Meh comes over to visit, I need to be sure it’s present and accounted for.  And sure, it might seem silly to hold onto every Playboy magazine I ever got, but what if some day I need to look up what Charisma Carpenter looked like in the buff circa 2004?  It could happen!

And then there’s all the sentimental stuff.  All of my old SNL and red carpet passes and badges don’t have any monetary physical, but they’re mementos of a special time in my life.  The same is true of all of my old T-shirts.  Why on Earth would I ever want to throw out a perfectly good T-shirt?  The T-shirt that I got when I was rushing AEPi?  Tons of memories there!  The one that has a picture of Buffalo Bill and the words, “it puts the lotion in the basket;” that one got tons of laughs!  Every shirt has a story!

And of course, there’s everything Eli has ever done/drawn/colored at school.  Sure, there’s an awful lot of crafts and projects that have just have scribbles on them, but someday if he becomes a world famous Mets third-baseman turned actor turned astronaut turned President who cures cancer and world hunger, all of that stuff will be SUPER valuable!

I’m just planning ahead!

Is that a crime?

And of course, it doesn’t motivate me to throw out more stuff when, every time that I *have* thrown stuff out, it turns out that it was actually worth a fortune!  Like, my old Nintendo Power magazines, or Garbage Pail Kids collections. You know how much money I threw away when I chucked those?  Tons!  (There’s no link… but not just because I totally made that up.  Ugh… the thing is… you know, Google isn’t always THAT great of a search engine… so…)

Still, I am trying to get better.  It might not be much of an accomplishment, but I’ve actually impressed myself with some of the things I’ve thrown into the yard sale heap.  A perfectly good old wireless phone.  My old computer speakers.  An unopened Monopoly, Justice League of America edition.  (The Star Wars edition ain’t going NOWHERE, obvs.)  My only fear is that when it actually comes time to sell the stuff, I won’t be so offended by all of the low-ball offers we get that we’ll actually end up not selling anything, and moving all of our old junk back into the house.

I’m sure we’ll be able to find room for it – we can just model our house in any of these hoarder-chic styles:

Get it? May Fourth? May the Fourth be With You?!

Hey, I didn’t invent the thing.

But to celebrate, let’s all listen to Bill Murray sing the Star Wars theme song. (Two Bill Murray shout-outs in two days? Why not!)

And I’m not gonna lie – it looks awesome. Doesn’t it?

Plus, it was directed by Joss Whedon.  And if there’s anyone on Earth who knows how to tell a story of a disparate group of souls coming together to overcome impossible odds, its Whedon.

So, yeah, I want to see The Avengers.

But, being more of a DC guy at heart, I just can’t wait for The Dark Knight Rises.  I mean, holy crap, have you seen the new trailer?

That looks BLEAK.  And depressing.  And not at all the shiny, colorful superhero flick The Avengers looks like.

But I can’t wait.

Batman Begins was amazing.  The Dark Knight was damn near perfect. And while TDKR has some mighty big shoes to fill, I’m confident that Nolan and company can pull out all the stops as their legendary Bat-trilogy comes to an end.

Also, honorable mention for “movies I am excited about” goes to Moonrise Kingdom. Haven’t heard of it? Here’s all you need to know: Wes Anderson. Bill Murray. This trailer:

Bill Murray with an axe? Sign. Me. Up.

So, almost 14 months later, am I still using the thing?

Yes!

Sorta…

I was being good and diligent about my running routine through most of the year last year.  But towards the end of the year, right around Thanksgiving, I got a little lax.  And by “a little lax,” I mean, I basically abandoned the machine altogether.

And sure, the holidays are a hectic time, but I really could have made more of an effort.  Than it became a new year, and while most people use that as motivation to start feverishly working out, I was unwilling to give up my new-found sloth.

(Courtney, it should be noted, did still use the machine while I was enjoying packing on the pounds.)

But I got some new inspiration a few weeks ago.  Remember that Saturday when, all of a sudden, it felt like the summer?  Well, that day I put on my shorts for the first time in months.  And they were just a bit snug.  So I got on the scale, and was none too pleased with the number staring back at me.

So I’ve started running again.  Nothing too crazy, just a few early morning runs on the weekends, and, hopefully, some longer runs on the weekends while Eli naps.  (Those haven’t happened yet, but hey, I’m optimistic!)  The morning runs are tough for no other reason than I have to get up at 5:30.  AM.  In the morning.  When everyone else on earth i still asleep in their comfy, comfy beds. Worse yet, I know that if I really want to start burning serious calories, I’m going to have to get up even earlier.

It’s not easy to actually get out of the bed at that horrific hour, but I’ve been on a good streak; so far, everytime the alarm has gone off, I’ve gotten out of bed.   And the iPad is definitely a great new distraction tool, as I can watch anything on Netflix streaming on a nice big screen while I run.   I’m currently making my way through Archer, and the comedy takes my mind off of how exhausted and out of shape I am.

And, once again, I’m writing about this here as further motivation to keep at it.  Because after all, I’m going to want to wear my shorts more as it gets warmer outside.  And while I realize that no one wants to see me in shorts period, REALLY no one wants to see me in tight shorts.