Is it too much to ask to make it through just ONE Halloween without having to dispose of a corpse?

Apparently.

This morning, Sherlock told me he had something vitally important to show me in the backyard, and he warned me that it would be disturbing.

It was.

Sherlock led me straight to a squirrel, cold and lifeless, lying among the grass and fallen autumn leaves in our backyard.  From the look of the animal, I’d say he was fairly young when he died, with is best squirreling years still ahead of him.

“You realize what this means,” Sherlock said sternly.

“What’s that?”  I replied.

“That one member of this family is a murderer.”

I couldn’t handle the thought.  I was furious with Sherlock for even making such a lurid suggestion. But I knew he was right.  Judging by some preliminary forensics, there was no way this squirrel had died of natural causes.

He was killed.

And only a Noah would have had the opportunity and motive to commit such a heinous act.

Sherlock and I started to go through the suspects.

“It couldn’t be Courtney,” I began.

“I don’t know,” said Sherlock.  “She does some work on animals for her job; maybe in her view, this squirrel was a lower life form that didn’t deserve to live.”

“I’m not buying it.  Her maternal instinct would never allow her to hurt an innocent creature.  Let’s move on.  For the sake of fairness, we should do me next.”  Sherlock looked at the ground, unable to look his master in the eye during such a difficult conversation.   “I suppose I’m a suspect because I do get creeped out by anything in nature.”

“And you were not happy that you had to clean up the yard for the winter.  Maybe you lashed out at this poor helpless animal.”  Sherlock had crafted a perfect scenario.  Was it possible that I had committed the murder and now couldn’t remember it?

“No.  I didn’t even start putting things away when you showed me to the body.  Besides, you were out here, and you would have seen me if I had done it.”  I had convinced myself, but had I convinced Sherlock?

“Moving on.  It’s time we discuss the most likely suspect,” Sherlock said.

“You can’t possibly mean…”

“That’s right.  Out of all of us, we’ve known Eli for the shortest period of time.  What do you *REALLY* know about his background?  I mean, for all intents and purposes, the kid didn’t even exist until a few years ago!”

“He has been known to throw tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. But still… murder?  Could he really have it in him?”

Sherlock sighed.  “There’s no one else it could have been.  I’m…  I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.”

It was a dark day.  The adorable, cherubic little boy I loved so much was in fact a cold-hearted killer, capable of snuffing out squirrels and who knows what else.  Dammit, what did I do wrong?  Was this my fault?  How did I fail the little guy?

I had been feeling so much sympathy for the squirrel and his family, but now I was starting to pity my family.  Courtney was not going to take this news well.  And poor Sherlock, he and Eli had been getting along so well lately!  Sure, Eli whacked him with his toy lightsaber the other day, but that was just a harmless…

Wait a second.

“Say, Sherlock, when did you say you found this squirrel?” I asked.

“Um, well, I guess it was just a little bit before I got you to tell you the tragic, terrible news.”  Sherlock began sniffing the air, as if picking up on some faint scent.  I wasn’t buying it.

“Now I had let you out almost ten minutes before that to do your morning business.  That about right?”

“Well, yeah.  But you know me, always trying to find the perfect thing to pee on!”

“You know what occurs to me, Sherlock?  It occurs to me that you had plenty of time to kill this squirrel, plant the body here, and then set-up this witch hunt as a way to set up Eli.”

Sherlock’s tail hung between his back legs.  “I didn’t…  I just…  The thing is…  That lightsaber really hurt!”

“I know it did, Sherlock.  But remember the time you jumped on the door and scratched Eli a little bit?  He cried for  a minute, but he got over it.  You’re brothers.  You’re going to get on each other’s nerves and hurt each other every now and again, but framing each other for murder is simply never the answer.”

Sherlock whined.  “I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am.  Now, let’s get rid of this body and try to have a fun Halloween!  Sound good to you?”

Sherlock wagged his tail.  “Can I have some of Eli’s peanut butter cups?”

“We’ll see,” I replied.  “We’ll see.”