If you don’t know what the horror movie Human Centipede is about, I don’t want to have to explain it. Google it. Actually, don’t. It’s not the sort of thing that is polite to discuss on a family-friendly blog. I’m not even posting a picture with this post for fairly obvious reasons.

Anyway, I’m no horror buff, and when I first heard about the movie, my reaction was similar to that of pretty much every other slasher flick: Pass. Although this movie had an extra element of gag inducement, which I guess is really what they were going for.

But the movie became a major pop culture reference – the South Park season premiere was a direct parody/satire/homage, and there are all kinds of other disturbing images and web videos out there. (The Funny or Die sketch is pretty funny…) So, being a (self-professed) pop culture aficionado, I set out to watch the movie while Courtney was away for a few nights for work.

I don’t recommend it.

Not only is the premise nauseating, and not only is it full of moments that are downright disturbing, I also just thought that the movie itself wasn’t all that great – it’s really nothing more than it’s premise; there’s no real arc or story beyond that.

And even worse, you definitely do not need to have seen the movie to “get” the joke on South Park, or Funny or Die, or anywhere else. Knowing what a human centipede is is completely sufficient; suffering through the movie is totally unnecessary.

And you know what’s even more totally unnecessary? A Human Centipede TRILOGY. Yup, not one, but two sequels are in the works.

Really? What more ground can they cover? Longer centipedes? Oh, that’s exactly what they’re going to do? Lovely.

Anyway, consider this a public service announcement – watching the Human Centipede will in no way enrich your quality of life in any way, shape, or form. Trust me on this.