It isn’t a rhetorical question. Why doesn’t the Long Island Rail Road have a quiet car? A “quiet car,” if it isn’t immediately obvious, is a car of the train where cell phone calls, loud conversations, and other assorted forms of noisiness are prohibited. It exists for the commuters that want to read, sleep, or just exist in some quiet on their ride to and from work.

It isn’t a new idea – Amtrak and some New Jersey Transit and Philadelphia Commuter Rail lines have experimented with the concept, and it has been debated being instituted on Metro North trains.

So why not the LIRR?

I know I can not be the only person who gets sick of people screaming about their days, complaining to their assistants about their train being late when it is totally on time, or those folks with super annoying ringtones set to the highest possible volume who just don’t feel like answering.

And it isn’t just cell phones either. People sometimes ride the train with friends, and they like to chat on the way in. Nothing wrong with that! Except of course when the people decide it would be better to sit a few rows from each other. Or when they are drunk and have lost the ability to control their vocal volume.

And I understand the importance of the train announcements, but for those of us who regularly take the train, we don’t need to be told 48 times to change at Jamaica, or that off peak tickets will be required to pay an additional step-up fare.

And what about the people who play their music so loud that they can’t have both headphones in at once? Why not just turn it down???

OK, so I officially sound like an old curmudgeon now, I know. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

The thing about quiet cars is that they could by and large be self-policed. By doing something as simple as posting a few signs and turning down the lights, they could encourage the considerate people who want to make some business calls or talk to their fellow riders to sit in another car. As for the inconsiderate ones, who are the real problem anyway, I have to think after several glares and being shushed repeatedly, they would rather be in a different car. Would the conductors occasionally have to chastise an unruly passenger? Probably. But I just can’t see that getting in the way of making the trains run on or close to schedule. And hey, if the conductors can’t be bothered, I’m sure this guy would be happy to keep people in line.

So why not start a pilot program? See how it goes. If it’s a disaster, hey, no harm, no foul. But I am quite confident that it would be a huge success, and that people would love it. The quiet car wouldn’t be for everyone – hell, sometimes I like to make calls on the train, and I would be happy to ride in a ‘regular’ car on those occasions. But for the people who do appreciate some peace and quiet on their commute, it would make for an infinitely nicer commute.