On Tuesday night, I had a dream about Eli laughing and smiling. Then, Wednesday morning, on my way into work, Courtney emailed me saying that she thought she saw him do it. She sent me a video, and I just couldn’t get over how adorable he was! He looked so happy!

Try as I might to get him to smile when I got home that night, he just wouldn’t do it. Ditto yesterday.

But this morning, Eli smiled at me. At first it was a “Was that a yawn or a smile” kind of expression, but then, a moment later, there it was. A real smile.

My son smiled at me.

I’m really trying to put into words what it was like, but it really was pretty indescribable. At that moment, it felt like Eli knew me. Like he recognized me. Like he was happy to see me. Like he was just happy to be alive. Before now, he’s been calm, sleepy, hungry, fussy, curious, frustrated, enthralled. If he had been happy before, he wasn’t showing it.

But now he can.

I know that there will be lots of days like this, Eli hitting important milestones, and of course millions more smiles. But I also know that I’ll always remember this day, and this milestone.

This smile.