Actually, that sounds sort of wrong…

Anyway, I can now officially say that I have watched every single James Bond film. So, you know, way to go me. I had seen the 4 Pierce Brosnan movies when they first came out, but I really didn’t remember them all that well – except for GoldenEye, which I remember more from the videogame than the movie. Come to think of it, the movie actually felt a lot like a videogame, which is maybe one of the reasons why the game was so popular. (That and the addictive multiplayer, natch.)

Timothy Dalton wasn’t awful, but he sure wasn’t that good. I just couldn’t buy him as a suave lothario. And License to Kill could have been such a great film; how much fun would it have been to see Bond have to go through all of his usual world-saving adventures but do it all without killing anyone, like Arnold in Terminator 2? But no, his license to kill is revoked, and he still kills everyone who gets in his way. Sigh.

I like Brosnan as Bond – he was funny and sarcastic and tough and seemed to be able to handle himself in a fight better than some of his predecessors. The puns got a little ridiculous, and the gadgets crossed the line of believability, but so what? They were still fun movies. My biggest complaint with these six installments is that it seemed to me like the bad guys had unbelievably bad aim. Every time Bond was being shot at by multiple hooligans at close range with all kinds of guns, the bullets always seemed to hit just riiiiight next to him. Maybe that happened in the earlier movies too and I just didn’t notice it as much, and it just stood out more when the whole thing seemed more modern and realistic. And speaking of things that “take you out of the movie,” I found it weird that all of these movies seemed to exist all in one timeline – the Bond from Dr. No was the same Bond in Die Another Day. I mean really, how old is this guy? I guess it just makes the decision to reboot for Daniel Craig all the wiser.

Oh, and while the Bond babes continued to impress, Denise Richards is just a terrible actress, especially in movies where she’s not topless and making out with Neve Campbell. Nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones? Please. Though it did lead to a great Robot Chicken sketch: