1) I have no idea what my name is. My tag says “Adonis” because of the way I walk around, but whenever I meet little kids I get introduced as “Coconut.” And yet my servants call me “Fuzzy Buns” a lot, but frankly I don’t care what they call me. I have no use for it.
2) I walk on a leash. When my servants take me out, everybody responds the same. Either, “there’s something you don’t see every day,” or “I wonder if our cat would walk on a leash.” Sometimes they ask, “how did you get her to do that?” First of all, it’s HIM. Second of all, they didn’t. I chose to do it. Your cat can do it, he or she just doesn’t want to.
3) When I’m on the prowl, I claim expansive ranges of territory. If you are juggling groceries trying to enter your home, I will bolt in. If you own a cat, I will eat their food. Once I jumped on a couch as movers were bringing it inside a woman’s home. They didn’t flinch until they found out I was not the woman’s cat. I am no woman’s cat, nor man’s.
4) Sylvia will come around. She’s nine, but still purrs like a kitten. She’s not going to make me wait forever. Besides, they only think they neutered me.
5) I have killed many grasshoppers, a mole, and a bird. Yeah, a bird. My servants joke when they feed me beef that “this is a natural diet for a cat, like when they used to bring down cows in the wild.” Tuna: I see your point. I’m not going into the water. But cows? Bring it on! They don’t even fly.
6) My servants wonder why I gallop up and down the halls from 9pm to 10pm every night doing wind sprints. I wonder why they’re so fat.
7) If I’m rubbing your ankles and purring, you have failed. You have allowed me to experience hunger.
8 ) The female servant seems to feed the male servant, who is bigger. This means that the female servant is third in the hierarchy, and the male is below me at number two. He therefore poses the greatest threat and is most likely to challenge my dominance. This is the real reason I left the bird at his doorstep. It wasn’t a gift.

He’s a cutie, and we love him!!