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The missus and I just watched There Will Be Blood last night, just seven short months after the rest of the world. And with all due respect to the Academy Awards, I don’t see what all the fuss was about.

First of all, the movie was at least an hour too long. There was no dialogue in the first half hour, and even though that didn’t bother me in the slightest with WALL·E, here I was having a tough time staying awake. The whole back story of Daniel Plainview felt painfully slow, and after the movie was over, I saw no need for it’s inclusion. Was it meant to show why he was as ruthless as he was? Because he broke his leg once? Lame.

Once things got moving, with Plainview buying up the land and doing his drilling and stuff, the movie was at least watchable, but I just can’t stand the way Daniel Day-Lewis over acts. He makes his character completely over the top, like some bad guy (with the same kind of moustache) from an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. And if he’s so smart and conniving, how he could fall for the old “Hey, I heard you’re rich, and guess what, I’m your long lost brother who needs some help” bit?  That’s such a cliché, how on earth did it make in to a Best Picture nominee?

Then there’s the whole thing with his son. So he loves him, but not really, because he’s just a bastard in a basket. What? So when he got mad at the oil exec for suggesting he should spend time with his son, that was all an act? And he brought the kid back just for show? Would he have truly loved him had HW not become deaf? And what kind of name is HW anyway?

His clash with the reverend Eli Sunday was the most interesting part of the movie, but it totally got lost in the shuffle with everything else that was going on. Which is pretty amazing, when you consider that they were able to gloss over anything with a two and a half hour run time.  The movie ended with a cool scene, and at least the promise of the title was ultimately fulfilled, but I can’t help but think that if Daniel Day-Lewis starred in the next direct-to-video American Pie movie, critics would praise it as pure brilliance.

Actually, that might not be a bad idea.  I’d rent American Pie Presents: There Will Be Boobs, wouldn’t you?

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist…)