*SPOILER ALERT*
Why do I have a funny feeling I’m going to get ripped to shreds in the comments for this one? Try as I did to love this movie, it just didn’t do it for me. And it wasn’t because of the nitpicky things that a lot of other nerds have been griping about either. My two biggest problems with the movie were that it didn’t start to feel like a fun Indy flick until the end, and that it made me wish we hadn’t been forced to wait 19 years for a follow up to Last Crusade.
Here’s an excerpt from my “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” Review:
Besides the shock of seeing Indy so much older, the other problem with skipping over 19 years of his life is that the audience has therefore missed out on 19 years worth of adventures. Indy was a Colonel in World War II? How the hell did that happen? What were his adventures like with Mac? Who were the other ladies that failed to replace
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Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackWell, since Temple was a prequel to Raiders (and we *know* why he didn’t stay with HER!), the only other chick we know about is the Nazi who banged his dad and then died.
And in case you’re wondering about the other years, they fill in quite a number of holes (hehehe… “holes”) in The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.
My BIGGEST gripe in this movie is when Mutt says “You’re a… a… teacher?” and Indy replies dead-pan “Part time.” - I’m like “So Lucas? Steven? What else does he do on Tuesday Afternoons? Does he volunteer at the hospital? Does he just shoot up heroin at home? Is he into AD&D with the geology department? Stop raping my childhood! I LOVED the movie except for that line! When he went part time, did he supplement this with extra office hours? Does he have a TA teach his survey courses? And is his paycheck, which they kept while he was suspended, direct deposit, or cash?
I hope Indy V is “Indiana Jones and the Infernal Study Session (um… of The Lost City of Atlantis)”
Sure, Else and Willie are the only other ladies that we know about, but there must have been others over the years that we never saw. But why did those relationships fail? Because Indy and Marion were destined to be together? Even though it took them some 30+ years (remember, in Raiders they had been broken up for 10 years), their marriage still felt rushed in Skull. They have been on-again off-again for so many decades, why get married now? To retroactively make Mutt legitimate? Though Ford and Allen have great on-screen chemistry, their reunion didn’t make it seem like marriage was inevitable.
From what I remember of the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, they were pretty boring, though I don’t remember them that well in all fairness. And besides, they only show what happened in his pre-Raiders life, not post-Crusade. Except for one episode, apparently…
Despite Indy being a part-time professor, he also needed to count on his fingers to figure that Mac was a triple agent…
I really think Marion is the love of Indy’s life. 3 reasons:
1) Else and Willie were both, well, to be blunt, nice fucks for Indy. There was never an sense of love in his eyes for either. The entire “you’ll be here in 5 minutes” sexual tension comedy routine in Temple totally confirms that. Nowhere does he ever “fall” for her. Maybe by the end, when she gave up her Diva ways, she was pretty chill. But still, just a nice fuck. And Else was a hot Austrian Chick and an archaeologist. He probably liked to bang colleagues from all over. Who knows.
2) Don’t forget, Marion and Indy go way back before Raiders. When he goes to her bar, it’s “Indiana Jones… I always knew you’d come crawling back into my life.” You can tell they’ve had something significant in their past. And it was probably in their teens and/or 20’s*. Significant years. And the two definitely had chemistry. She was his equal and talked back to him (and even kicked his ass).
3) In Raiders, Indy is absolutely distraught when he thinks Marion is dead. About 5 minutes after Else died, Indy is making jokes about the dog. He totally wuved her. Yes, I spelled it “wuve.” The kiss-here scene in Raiders is totally “wuvey-dovey.” He’s totally into her. It’s obvious.
*since Indy is ~35 or so in Raiders (was about 13 or 14 in 1910 in Crusades, so I put his birthyear at 1897 - wow that sounds old).
According to this site, Indy was born in 1899. And he also has a daughter, apparently seen in the Young Indy Chronicles. I don’t know if it’s with Marion, seeing as how post-menopausal she looked in Skull.
I hear what you’re saying about Indy and Marion, I’m just saying that there reunion in Skull wasn’t given very much attention, nor did it scream out “true love” in any way. They bickered, fought alongside each other, and next thing you know they were getting hitched. Their “romance” in this movie felt like an afterthought to me.
Perhaps. I still like to think they are though. My sister and I both noticed a “lovey dovey” look on Marion’s face when Indy told her the “they weren’t you” line. She looked like a high school girl who’s boyfriend just got a touchdown for her.
Finally saw it. I mostly agree with your comments, although the suspension of disbelief in this one was enormous. I couldn’t take it. I understand it is a fantasy adventure, but it still should be SOMEWHAT grounded in reality. This was just completely over the top. By itself the movie is OK. Overall, comparing it to the original trilogy - I think it really sucked. It is really sad that movies like National Treasure which are a complete knockoff of Indiana Jones (they admit it, too)are a way more enjoyable.
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