Photo courtesy of Fox

Over the years, the Simpsons have had more than their share of animals, from Stampy the elephant to Spiderpig, who, coincidentally, makes a cameo appearance in this episode. This week, Bart raised and grew attached to a cow. Though the premise wasn’t terribly original, the show did manage to make me laugh a few times along the way.

The show began with Bart and Lisa spending a beautiful Saturday watching cartoons that implore them to go out and buy their licensed cereal. Marge then sends Bart out on an errand with Homer to Shelbyville to have their leaking bean bag chairs refilled. This led to two very random jokes that I didn’t get, one where Bart says that the last time they went to this store, there were a lot of people speaking Hebrew on their cell phones, and Homer and Bart talked all about Dean Martin and his wikipedia page. Did I miss something here, or were these two bits just not very funny?

I did laugh out loud at the 4-H sign that read “It’s still a thing,” which probably echoed the sentiments of the show’s writers when the idea was first pitched: “Is the 4-H still even around?” Apparently it is, and Bart was eager to join so he could drive a tractor. The sight gags of the things the tractor packaged were funny, in particular the manure pile being turned into DVDs of Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

Besides tractor driving, the 4-H also holds a competition for its members to adopt and raise a calf, with the best cow earning a blue-ribbon. Bart gets stuck with the weakest one in the lot, excluding Ralph’s wooden posts that he mistakes for a cow. Bart names the calf Lou, and trains him, via montage, to win the blue ribbon. After Lou wins, Bart is dismayed to learn that he is still headed to the slaughter house. Homer provides his son with another wonderful life lesson: Never work hard, don’t form emotional attachments, and don’t be a cow. I was worried that the episode was going to take a turn from “Lisa the Vegetarian” and have Bart give up meat, but that would have felt both unoriginal and out of character, and the show acknowledged that fact in Bart’s conversation with Lisa. All he really gave up was stirring his lemonade with a sausage, which is only something that Homer or his son would ever think of doing anyway. Lisa’s use of a Tress MacNeille CD of animal voices to trick Bart was a clever gag.

After Bart rescues Lou, he gives him to his friend Mary of the 4-H club, who turns out to be Cletus’ daughter, and the cow gift is interpreted as a marriage proposal. I wasn’t that crazy about this story turn, mainly because Bart, a ten year old boy, was not only already engaged, but it happened last season, when he was about to marry an older pregnant girl. In spite of that, the wedding scene was still played for a lot of laughs, from the redneck wedding planner complaining about the spittoon locations, to the little moonshine bottles being carried around, to the way that Mary was not asked if she takes Bart to be her husband because female opinions are not considered important.

After Marge stopped the wedding, the show petered out a bit. Lou was sent to India by Apu where he would be worshiped, and Bart said goodbye to Lou Casablanca style. There was neither an explanation nor a joke given as to how Apu was able to arrange an international flight for one cow, and the parody of Casablanca felt forced. Also forced was Homer’s (mis)adventure in the Slaughter House. The “Homer in peril” bits can be funny on occasion, but more often they are shoe-horned into episodes, as was the case here. The show then ended with an ultra-cheesy line about how happy Bart was to have “had a cow.” What happens next week, someone eats Bart’s shorts?

Though this episode was uneven, there were still enough funny gags to make up for the more dull moments.

Alan’s Score: 5.7 out of 10